I don’t think so…not happy

The last few days have been a bit manic in our household. I have been very busy recruiting new representatives for work, I have also been helping out a family I used to work with working with W. Which has meant since Saturday I have been out of the house pretty much none stop. I walked in an hour ago, and I have got tomorrow and Friday free before back out on Saturday and Sunday.

Don’t get me wrong I love my job, and I love working with W but I am so tired! Basically I have been working when Mr L hasn’t, so he has been coming in at five and I have been leaving at six and not been getting in till late. I haven’t put Baba to bed for three nights in a row now. Which I think is a first in his little life, Mr L and I regularly take it in turns, but I haven’t gone three nights before. I feel guilty enough about this, but then this happened today and made me feel even worse.

Today was Nannies day, so I dropped Baba off in the morning, and collected him this afternoon. He was excited to see me, however when Mr L came in, Baba was so happy, squealing and laughing. Mummy here, was not happy about that! Then to top it off, he started crying earlier and it has always been Mummy that can calm him down, but tonight, he didn’t even want to come to me. He stood at the gate crying, looking for his daddy.

I was heartbroken, I have been contemplating, taking on a few night shifts back in care as well as my Avon. After today I don’t think that will be happening, it won’t!

Call me selfish if you like, but at the moment I like being the one that Baba comes to, the one that he wants when he is tired, upset, not feeling well. I am not jeopardising that over a job. So my mind is made up, tomorrow will be a Baba and me day, and lots of cuddles and I am putting him to bed tomorrow, and that is the way it is going to stay. Mummy working from home and Baba being with me, for now anyway.

I would just like to say that I want Baba and Mr L to have a great relationship just not with me being second best, not yet anyway!

4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Heather
    Feb 18, 2010 @ 08:16:06

    oh, it is so hard when this happens. i hope you get your cuddling and bonding time.


  2. the_moiderer
    Feb 18, 2010 @ 08:37:50

    I totally understand. My hubby is a stay at home dad which means the little one said Daddy (or diddy) well before she said Mummy (or mimmy).
    When he walks into a room she yells “Diddy” happily and smiles. When I walk in she barely looks up. I work from home too so am around all day. I get her up 6 out of 7 mornings. I feed her every meal. I always put her to bed (rod for our own back there because occasionally I am away with work and all hell breaks loose!)
    I expect her to want her daddy more than me, I want her to miss me as much as she misses him when he’s out of the room!


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