Yesterday was a day that I doubted myself. A day where I felt that I could not do anything right.
I doubted my ability to do my job, to start the website and just generally being me. I don’t know why or what had made me feel this way. But it was something that I didn’t like.
I spoke to Mr L in-depth and told him that maybe we would be better off if I just gave everything up and went back to work. Thankfully he reminded me that I would hate this, and I would. However had it gets sometimes I would hate to walk out and leave Baba while I was at work. I love the flexibility that working from home offers me. I love the fact that if he is poorly I can just not work for the day and look after my main priority Baba!
But then these doubts creep in. That I am not contributing to the family income, that sometimes I am the main reason for the expenditure in the house. That wears me down I feel bad. I feel bad that Mr L is out there working his socks off in a job that he hates to enable me to stay at home.
I began thinking about it and thought that maybe that was the problem, the fact that I still think of myself as being a stay at home mummy. I know I write that I am a work at home mummy, but I really think of myself as a stay at home! Maybe that is where the difference lies, that I need to start thinking of Avon and the website as actual businesses and work, and not just thinking of them as a side line. Maybe if I start doing that, then I will feel like I am contributing more, and am working.
So I kept going with that idea yesterday and I did manage to pull myself out of the pits of despair! I got a lot done, I found four new customers, got ads out on the internet and got a couple of leads. Not bad for a days work. Then I started to produce the website, last night.
So I shouldn’t have doubted myself! I can do it. I am capable. I just need to remember that!
And Then All I Thought About Was You 
Jul 15, 2010 @ 10:08:31
Yes of course you can do it ,it is just a question of self discipline ,good time management ,but you must allow yourself a certain amount of flexibility ,because being a Mum ,is the most important job you will ever do ,go for it ,you can do anything you tell yourself you can …love Jan xx
Jul 15, 2010 @ 10:11:42
Yes I can, thank you for that, and allowing time for Baba is the main reason why I don’t want to be working in a job not at home as I then have that flexibility xx
Jul 15, 2010 @ 10:55:13
what a great and honest post. When you work at home you get freedom to think and don’t get bogged down by office politics, but it can be quite isolating too. It’s good to know I’m not the only one going through this. I took redundancy earlier in the year and am blogging and hoping to build up a freelance work-from-home career once my eldest starts school. I don’t think mothers ever feel like they’re getting it right – working or not – it’s a balancing act. I think being honest with yourself and those around you like you are is the BEST way to stay positive.
Jul 15, 2010 @ 22:09:24
That is so nice that I am not the only one as well, and you are so right working from home can be so isolating, thanks for reading xx
Jul 15, 2010 @ 21:45:43
You can and are doing it and of course you are contributing. Keep your chin up! I wish I was brave enough to give up my job and work from home! x
Jul 15, 2010 @ 22:05:10
Ah thank you, don’t know whether I am brave or mad xx