Today I needed to work, with Baba being poorly and myself getting the dreaded bug, I haven’t worked for over two weeks, and we have a lot on. There is a lot that needs to be done over these next couple of weeks so I really really stressed this to Mr L.
That I needed to work he had to have Baba.
Now I couldn’t go anywhere as I had to be on the computer, so there wasn’t an option. Unfortunately they didn’t go anywhere either! After a couple of hours they ventured upstairs as they always do. Generally after Mr L has wound Baba up to a tea and then he is constantly screaming. He then asks for me so Mr L brings him up!
Today I was furious with him, I was so mad that I really didn’t want to speak to him for ages. If I don’t get this work done there are going to be seriously important people without presents at Christmas and I was mad about that, as Mr L knows this.
I ended up stopping work and Mr L stayed upstairs while Baba and I remained downstairs. For the rest of the afternoon the day was ruined and I had got nothing done.
But should I have really moaned, now a few hours later, Baba tucked up in bed. I am thinking that maybe I shouldn’t have been moaning.
I know it was annoying and in this precise moment in time, it is causing stress. But really how much longer is Baba only going to want me for? How long till his Mummy is not cool and it is all about Daddy?
We made the decision that I would only work from home, to be able to savour these moments, so why when they happen am I throwing them away?
He is two, he is totally independent and does what he wants. But there are still times and whole days when he just wants Mummy. I don’t want to lose them I don’t want to throw them away. Ultimately I don’t want him to grow to fast. So why moan when one of those days are happening!
I want to embrace them, enjoy and treasure them. I am going to make an effort to do that from now on, and not moan about what I am not doing. But be happy about the laughter, the smiles, and the memories I am making with my son!