My Little Ray Of Light

You are the light of my life,
The day you were born the darkness was immediately gone.
You make me get up every morning
However I feel More

Anger!

He sits on the floor, building his tower.
Lego is his thing at the moment.
It is a joy to watch he gets higher and higher and looks so pleased with himself.
He has decided that he doesn’t want that Lego there, so off it comes.
He pulls and pulls,
To no avail,
His face goes red
He groans, he moans
I ask whether he wants some help
He looks,
He turns his back. More

Time To Say Goodbye!

As we walked in you looked so small, so fragile and childlike. If it wasn’t for the years showing on your face with wrinkles and grey hair you would not know you were an adult. A tiny one at that, curled up asleep in bed.

Struggling to breathe the oxygen taking the effort away from you, keeping you going one breath at a time.

You didn’t stir, you didn’t even move. You just laid and waited, you were waiting for your time. It wasn’t far away and we all knew, no one wanted to believe it. But we were silently waiting too. More

Lost Friendship’s

The days used to be so simple and easy
But now all they are, are memories
Nothing we used to have could ever be rebuilt.
I never knew what we had lost,
All the closeness and love that was around all of us.
Is lost forever! More

I was the One

I was always the one on my own,

Always the one trying to find someone to go out with

Always the one that spent Christmas with just the family

Always the one that went home on my own! More

True Happiness

I am upstairs working,

You are downstairs with daddy

I can hear movement, I can hear lots of movement

Daddy is growling,

Laughter is erupting the house

It is getting louder and louder,

Screams of joy are getting louder and louder

Laughter becomes a belly laugh of joy

Daddy’s laugh and your laugh whistle through the house together

He is growling, you are screaming. More

Weight What Weight

Now as you all know, since having Baba I have struggled with my weight as many of us have. I have lost weight since I gave birth to him but due to putting on four stone of weight while pregnant with him, only losing a stone, has not made much of a difference!

I have hated my body for many reasons for 18months now, actually that’s a lie for two years. I hated my body when I was pregnant as well.

I hate everything about it. I am rarely in pictures now as I hate the way I look. I think my face is fat, my legs are hideous, my bum well you can’t see much past it. My belly is huge, and my boobs still have not gone down from being pregnant they were large anyway now they are just stupid! See not loving the body! More

Always Together Whatever

I am ten may be younger
It is Sunday
The day you call
Every week about 6pm to see how my week has gone
You don’t say much,
I do all the talking, I tell you about the rows we have had, who loves who this week.
You just listen, you have always been good at listening. More

A bump an almighty bump!

There was a bump, an almighty thud, I didn’t know how it happened and I didn’t know what it was but I knew it wasn’t right.

I started to move, to move to the wrong side. Oh god. I held on as tight as I could and tried to remember what I should do, I pushed the opposite way as hard as I could.

But it wasn’t moving, I was trying so hard.

Oh god, I’m spinning and spinning. It’s getting faster and I can’t see properly. I can’t tell where I am. More

Pregnancy Bye Bye

I hated being pregnant thats not actually correct, I loathed being pregnant, absolutely despised it, I can’t actually express how much I hated it. To me it was the worst thing that I have had to go through. I am not talking the labour, or the first few months where you can be ill, I am talking the whole thing. From the day I found out to the day I went into labour.

I have never before stated how much I hated it. More

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