As we walked in you looked so small, so fragile and childlike. If it wasn’t for the years showing on your face with wrinkles and grey hair you would not know you were an adult. A tiny one at that, curled up asleep in bed.
Struggling to breathe the oxygen taking the effort away from you, keeping you going one breath at a time.
You didn’t stir, you didn’t even move. You just laid and waited, you were waiting for your time. It wasn’t far away and we all knew, no one wanted to believe it. But we were silently waiting too.
He came, he wasn’t going to. He was having his internal debates, but I told him to come first. Not to go home, you wouldn’t know that he hadn’t changed from his work clothes, that he was covered in paint. And I don’t think you would care. For once he listened.
He arrived and we went back to see you. You had changed sides, not you personally, you had been moved to make you more comfortable. You were still on the oxygen, it was doing the work for you. You still looked so frail and little. Just laying waiting for your time.
He spoke to you, he told you he was there. Nothing no sign of anything. We stood talking for a while. And then you moved.
It wasn’t a massive move, just a judder, and you did it again. You opened your eyes. He went to get the doctor.
You looked like you were crying, you weren’t though, just watery eyes. I told you he was here, it was ok.
For a split second your eyes showed a little sparkle. He came back into the room, and said he was back. For the last time he called you “mum”, and you slowly slipped away.
Your time had come, you were leaving us! You looked so peaceful lying there! There were no dramas, just peace, quiet and stillness.
Time stood still!
For a moment, just a moment in time, he wasn’t the big brave man, he wasn’t the Dad or the Granddad that he had been for years. He was the boy saying goodbye to his mum for the very last time!
To my Gran who sadly passed away yesterday 09/06/2010 love you forever!
This post was written for the Writing Workshop I chose prompt number 5. Time.
And Then All I Thought About Was You 
Jun 10, 2010 @ 07:35:23
thats so sad kerry, but written so well. Im sorry of your loss and your dads loss. xxxxx
Jun 10, 2010 @ 08:29:48
Thanks that is very kind x
Jun 10, 2010 @ 08:10:43
So sorry for your loss.
Jun 10, 2010 @ 08:29:26
Thank you very much x
Jun 10, 2010 @ 08:15:32
So sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you and your family
x
Jun 10, 2010 @ 08:28:58
Thank you x
Jun 10, 2010 @ 08:52:32
I’m so sorry for your loss x
Jun 10, 2010 @ 08:59:08
Thank you much appreciated x
Jun 10, 2010 @ 09:23:53
I am so sorry about your loss. This is a beautifully written post x
Jun 10, 2010 @ 09:32:49
Thank you that is very kind x
Jun 10, 2010 @ 09:31:25
You have brought tears to my eyes. So sorry for your loss.
Jun 10, 2010 @ 09:33:03
Thank you so much xx
Jun 10, 2010 @ 10:23:17
So sorry for your loss xxx So beautifully written.
Jun 10, 2010 @ 17:00:50
Thank you you are very kind xx
Jun 10, 2010 @ 10:36:13
oh sweetheart – what a lovely piece at such a sad time for you all. Much love x
Jun 10, 2010 @ 16:58:27
Thank you so much it means a lot x
Jun 10, 2010 @ 11:32:13
You are so lucky to have had her company for so long… My grandmother died last Christmas — three days after finishing a painting she had made for me — and I feel lucky she was around to be a great-grandmother.
Jun 10, 2010 @ 16:57:58
Totally agree, so lucky to have had her for so long, she had a lot of grand children and great grandchildren as well. She had a good life xx
Jun 10, 2010 @ 11:40:47
This brought the tears to my eyes ,so sorry ..love Jan xx
Jun 10, 2010 @ 16:57:08
Thank you Jan that is very kind of you xx
Jun 10, 2010 @ 12:58:41
Oh dear, how terrible for you, I can hardly see what I’m writing as my eyes are full of tears.
It’s beautiful and sad at the same time.
Jun 10, 2010 @ 16:56:38
Ah thank you, that is very kind x
Jun 10, 2010 @ 13:49:16
shit…that made me cry!well done for getting your dad there,
i know how hard that would have been for both of you.take care.xx
Jun 10, 2010 @ 16:55:07
I am so pleased that he was there, it was like she was waiting for him, and I am so pleased that he got to see her one last time xx
Jun 10, 2010 @ 14:30:59
This is such a beautiful depiction of death and those final moments. You capture it beautifully.
I am so sorry for your loss my love. Peace and healing to you xxx
Jun 10, 2010 @ 16:54:23
Thank you and thanks for your kind words yesterday xx
Jun 10, 2010 @ 16:50:38
So sorry for your loss . It was beautifuly written xx
Jun 10, 2010 @ 16:53:58
Thank you so much you are very kind xx
Jun 11, 2010 @ 12:23:22
I’m so sorry for your loss. That was just beautiful. And, as a mum of three boys, I’m crying as I read that.
Jun 11, 2010 @ 16:17:36
Thank you that is very kind and thank you for commenting on the writing as well xx
Jun 11, 2010 @ 20:57:14
Beautifully written. Amazing – she’s always with you.
Jun 11, 2010 @ 22:38:18
Thank you, and that is so nice I like to think that as well x
Jun 13, 2010 @ 13:18:23
Absolutely beautiful, so moving.
Jun 13, 2010 @ 20:20:21
Thank you, I really appreciate that! x
Jun 14, 2010 @ 09:33:10
A very very beautifully written and poignant piece.
My sincere commiserations for you and your family’s loss.
Jun 14, 2010 @ 09:39:20
Thank you so much that means a lot I really appreciate it x
Nov 07, 2010 @ 19:09:57
That was so moving, tears welling as I write. Your love for your gran and your dad is clear, thanks for sharing this bit of your family.
I am here through http://www.thekingandeye.com/2010/11/blog-gems-air-your-archives.html and glad of the chance connection that brought me here.
Nov 07, 2010 @ 20:21:31
Thank you and thank you for reading the blog means a lot xxx
Nov 07, 2010 @ 20:00:16
what incredibly descriptive writing, it painted a whole picture for me and what a difficult thing to share.
Nov 07, 2010 @ 20:21:07
Thank you, I really am so pleased with this piece of writing and actually found it very therapeutic to do it really helped at the time! xx
Nov 07, 2010 @ 20:41:07
I am so sorry for your loss. This is beautifully written.
Nov 07, 2010 @ 21:00:04
Thank you, and thank you about the writing as well xx
Nov 08, 2010 @ 12:46:08
So sad, the only thing stopping me from having a cry is that sparkle in her eye when she saw him. Actually, I don’t think that will work. My Gran died 25 years ago and I still miss her. I would love to have known her as an adult. Big hugs. Jen
Nov 08, 2010 @ 13:02:31
Thank you, it was a special moment, sounds mad to say that but it really was xx